Apple bottom

We know what you’re thinking… You’re thinking “My goodness, I certainly love the fresh zesty taste of an apple, but I wish my apple could be both more modest and allude to a woman’s part all at the same time.”

Here’s your Vagapple. Happy now?

What did you eat on Thanksgiving?

Some people eat turkey. Others gobble something else.

And then rinse.

And then paint a handbag about it.

 

Hello Kitty, Kill, Kill

“What me? Oh, I make these great necklace charms combining my love of brand names with my love of trademarked icons… Art is so easy!! I just take other people’s garbage and my old scrapbook punches and go to town while I watch tv! This way I don’t waste a single pop can OR even one ounce of creativity! It’s so fun and… hey! Where are you going?”

kittypepsi

Monkeys ARE scary

We admit that there is nothing inherently awful about this costume’s execution, but we can’t help agreeing with the pictured monkey himself:

“Sock monkey costume? Mom? Really?”

sock monkey costume

Bored with your old holes?

This year, say it with a chest va-j.

vaj necklace

Tie Die

“Honey!? Do you remember that time a few years ago when we distracted your sister’s kids with some RIT and the sheets we found that hobo wrapped in? Did they do that  in a bucket in the garage, ’cause I think I just found it?”

tie why!?

Sneeze Guard?

If we wore this, we would never escape the feeling that we were being felt up by a persistent perverted ghost.

Regardless, please heed our warning: jewelry should not give you breast exams.

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