Breast milk is for closers

This is a custom shirt for crafty moms to slap on the torso of their precious spawn. You’re supposed to fill in the craft of your choice.

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From the clearly crack-addled item description:

“When people see your little one all decked out in The Most Adorable Handmade items ever, they won’t have to wonder where you got them, they will know you are the source. And because they know you are the source, they will come up and ask you about them. And when they come up and ask you about them, they will want some of their own. And when they want some of their own, they will buy them from you. And when they buy them from you, you now have more money to spend on your crafting addiction.”

It almost makes us wish we had a kid, so we could get this shirt with the custom message “My mom made me pimp her out.”

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One response to “Breast milk is for closers

  1. I also like the irony that this thing is not a “Most Adorable Handmade item ever” that your kid’s supposed to be “all decked out in” (wouldn’t you like to deck the idjit that wrote that description).

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