Category Archives: Accessories

What did you eat on Thanksgiving?

Some people eat turkey. Others gobble something else.

And then rinse.

And then paint a handbag about it.

 

Just plain “Pass.”

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This thing you’re looking at is a Kippot, Yarmulka, or what some call the Jewish Skull Cap. This one has frogs on it. Fun, right?

Only thing is that these frogs commemorate one of the ten plagues that “God” allegedly reigned down on the Egyptians for not letting people go or something and now they call it Passover.

By now, you are well aware that The Deciders don’t dig on “God” but we do love that the people who DO can find his menacing, dangerous and unpredictable behavior somehow adorable and then make stuff you can wear on your head to commemorate it. 

We suppose the frog plague is safe for beanies because that shit happened to the Egyptians and not the Jews, but we’d like to remind the ones who worship that the “Lord” turns on a dime… ask Moses… or Noah… or Adam & Eve… or…

Anyway, the best part of this Etsy listing is the title, which reads

Frogs jumpin frogs Passover plagues kippah really cute and fun for Pesach Seder

We can only hope that the next plague to be beanie-fied will be the “Death to all first-born Egyptian children” one, because we guess the title would read

Babies dying babies Passover plagues kippah really cute and fun for Pesach Seder

and that would be sublime.

Who says you can’t combine style and turkeys?

We do, actually. 

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We find ourselves wondering what one might say to an Aunt Mildred or a Cousin Gertrude who shows up to Thanksgiving dinner with this clusterfrak of turkey-esque ribbon tangle in her up-do? You know she put it on thinking “I’m so fun!” and you don’t want to bust up her illusions but everytime you look over that ribbony turkey keeps making googley eye contact with you until you can’t resist it anymore and you bitch slap that thing off her head and straight into the fireplace.

There is only one thing you CAN say at a time like that. With a big smile and wide innocent eyes, you sweetly whisper

“Ooops!”

And you take a picture of the burning barrette and you send it to The Deciders, ’cause we love the holidays too.

Ultra Suedeicidal

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Found on Etsy, description includes the adjectives “lucious” and “beautiful” and “fancy” but left out what we think are the more accurate “puke-like” and “fuzzy ad-nauseam” and “avoid at all costs.”

It also said “I promise you’ll turn heads with this one.” We believe this is a truthful statement, with an omission… of course the heads will be turning in disgust.